What Should I Use While Potty Training My Child: Potty Training Pants, Pull-ups, Diapers, and /or Underwear?

As you might expect, many parents seek the answer to this question and are sometimes discouraged when they receive a variety of different opinions – even among “experts.” The reason? There is simply no one answer that applies to every situation!

Having said this, I offer you the following – my recommendations and advice on this controversial topic.

First, it’s important that you understand that I am a strong advocate for the methodology that I’ve used (The BRIEFS™ potty training system) for over three decades. I’ve tried them all and have found this approach to be the best, hands down. In my experience, it’s the fastest, most joyful, least stressful, and most cost effective way to become diaper-free for the vast majority of toddlers – and their parents. (See my article titled, “Tried-and-True Tips for Potty Training Children Quickly, Joyfully, and Completely” for more details on the four basic potty training methods.)

Because of my commitment to this process, I cannot – with good conscience – recommend anything that, in my opinion, is counter-productive to successful potty training. Additionally, one of the reasons my system works so well is it requires parents to be focused and consistent – in words and actions – and allows children to gain a quick understanding of cause and effect. Therefore, I specifically advise against using pull-ups, potty training pants, or diapers (except at nighttime and only then, early on) while potty training – and even prefer that my parents forgo underpants until they’re confident that their child “gets it.”

Why? Think of it this way… Until toddlers are potty trained, they wear diapers. Diapers are specifically designed to allow children to pee and poop at will, without leaking or causing skin rashes. In other words, diapers not only grant children permission to urinate and/or have bowel movements whenever the urge strikes, but also sends them a message that it’s expected!

Given this, it’s completely unreasonable to expect a small child to work through mixed message – that is, they’re expected to pee pee or poop in the potty sometimes, and diapers (and pull-ups or potty training pants) other times. This is simply way too confusing for them to go back and forth – even during naps and over night.

You may be wondering if this is an ironclad rule or if there are exceptions and/or other legitimate schools of thought. Simply put, yes. They are:

1. If your child is potty trained but is still having more than an occasional accident, and is enrolled in day care, you will have to adhere to their rules on this. I would still encourage you to try overnight underwear or waterproof cloth pants before using pull-ups, potty training pants, or diapers.

2. Nighttime diapers – but we still prefer overnight underwear – are okay for a very short period of time – just until you child has dry diapers for five consecutive mornings. This usually happens very quickly after they’re trained but in rare instances it may take months. This is another reason that we suggest that parents hold off on potty training until they’re waking up to dry diapers more often than not. If they do so, nighttime diapers are not necessary.

3. Many other potty training systems will advise dressing children in new underpants during the process. We do not. Why? Because in addition to being able to “catch them in the act” you also want your tot to begin making the connection between what they “see” (pee pee and poop) and the potty chair. There’s no better way to accomplish this than by removing everything and letting the action happen live! Also, underpants of any kind still provide a “safer” haven for accidents than bare bottoms!

However, as soon as your child is potty trained, we do advise very loose and light underwear (and actually we recommend no underwear for the first several days, if possible) if you must use something. If not, it’s best to keep your little one at home and keep their undergarments to a bare (pun intended :>) minimum.

And when you are ready to purchase underwear, you might consider getting the fun, colorful “character” kind. While they are not required, they may help your child view this as fun and exciting, especially if you work in a special shopping trip to let them pick out their own! You’ll find great deals on toddler-friendly underwear at most major discount and/or department stores.

Once again, I hope you’ve found my advice helpful and that your potty training journey will be filled with joy! Please check out my other “all-things-potty-training” articles on this website and others.