The 5 Best Ways for Determining Whether Your Child Has Reached Potty Training Age and is Ready For Potty Training

What is the best potty training age?

As you might expect, this is a question parents have traditionally asked us quite often and even more so today because of our tough economic times (And let’s face it, diapers aren’t cheap!). Each day I speak with growing numbers of parents who are concerned about their finances and seek my advice on ways to fast-forward to a diaper free household – and are looking for the answer to this question. And, if you’re reading this article, chances are you’re wondering if your toddler is old enough to be potty trained as well.

But after consulting with pediatricians, conducting extensive research, and potty training many children over the last three decades, here’s my answer: There is no one-size-fits-all, definitive “right” age for potty training.

Sorry to disappoint if you were expecting me to give you a definitive chronological age – one that you’d be sure was neither too early or too late – but the simple fact is, it doesn’t exist. Why? Because all children grow physically, mentally, socially, and emotionally at different rates and what’s perfect for one child may not be for another.

Having said that however, there are some very sound guidelines you can use to judge the right potty training age for your child. Below you’ll find a list of some tried and true rules of thumb – ones that the majority of pediatricians and child psychologists, as well as parents and grandparents – recommend for helping to determine if a child is ready for potty training. Use them to guide your own decision.

1. Normal, healthy toddlers between the ages of 18 and 27 months should be physically ready for potty training, even though some – especially girls – may be ready as early as 16 months. The American Academy of Pediatrics supports this and states that the vast majority of children have fully mature sphincter muscles (needed for elimination) between 12 and 24 months, with 18 months as a good average.

When toddlers are physically ready they may…

• Squat, grunt, or display other signs of awareness when he/she is having a bowel movement
• Tug at his/her diaper when urinating
• Stay dry for longer periods and/or throughout the night (you may notice that they stop having bowel movements first)
• Have more regular bowel movements
• Urinate a lot at one time (but less frequently)

A Caveat: If your toddler is still taking a bottle or cup to bed with them or they’re in the habit of drinking right before bed, you may still be waking up to wet diapers – even though they may actually be ready for potty training. If this is the case, you’ll need to run a small test. Stop giving them any liquids 2-3 hours before bed (Yes, it means they’ll have to forgo that bottle). Then make sure to change their diaper right before you put them down. This will make it easier for them to stay dry through out the night and allow for a more accurate assessment. Remember however, to check your toddler’s diapers right away when they wake up!

2. Although physical signs are important, experts also agree that developmental signals (motor, social, cognitive, and emotional skills) are far better predictors than chronological age. (NOTE: Consult with your pediatrician if your child has physical, mental or emotional challenges, which might affect this process.) They also agree that:

• You shouldn’t wait until your son or daughter asks to use the potty (they may be teenagers before this happens :>)
• Their language skills have little, or nothing, to do with effective potty training. As you’ll learn below, children must be able to understand simple commands even if they can’t speak sufficiently.
• It’s futile to wait for toddlers to become less “stubborn” or strong-willed (After all, that’s what toddlers are all about!) And if you wait, they’ll likely to wear diapers for a very long time.

So, here are some other signs that pediatricians and other experts also cite as good indicators that a child is at the right potty training age…

3. Their motor skills are sufficiently developed.

When toddlers’ motor skills are mature they may…

• Dress and/or undress themselves
• Pull their pants up or down
• Put on their shoes or socks

4. They have mature cognitive and/or language skills.

When toddlers’ cognitive skills are mature they may…

• Show that they understand your explanations, commands, and simple instructions and respond to them appropriately
• Recognize simple words and phrases such as, “pee pee,” “poop,” “potty,” etc.
• Demonstrate awareness of their body parts (especially genitals – theirs and others)
• Imitate others – especially Mom or Dad
• Understand cause and effect – For example, they’ll need to associate urinating with the potty chair

5. They have mature emotional and social skills.

When toddlers’ emotional and social skills are mature they may…

• Become frustrated when something, or somebody, is out of place. For example, you might hear them say, “No, Daddy! That goes here!”
• Demonstrate pride in their accomplishments
• Desire to “do things themselves” more often – For instance, I knew my granddaughter, Sevy, was “there” the first time (but there were many, many times after that! :>) she said, “Sevy can do it!” As a matter of fact, I told her that her name should be “Sevy-Can-Do-It”!
• Imitate others

Hopefully, these tips have taken some of the mystery out of determining the right potty training age for your special toddler! Please review our other helpful articles on “all thing potty training” – potty training boys, potty training chairs, potty training day, and much more!

About the Author

For more information on potty training your child, try visiting http://www.askthepottytrainer.com, a popular website that provides tips, advice and resources on potty training toddlers.